Write On

It has been a long time since I looked in the mirror and saw the girl     in my reflection smiling. In the past, her        smile would never quite meet her eyes. Her cheeks were trembling with the weight of     unshed tears she continued to hold back. I like to think    that she was brave because she knew I needed it. In the past, her        brow was never quite smooth enough. my worry aged her. made her complexion    pale and           empty. I like to think   that she was strong because she knew I couldn't be. In the past, she        smiled with closed lips. afraid if they saw her    teeth chatter the mask would splinter   to pieces. I like to think    that she was determined because she knew I hadn't been. In the past, her       eyes never shined the way they could. her pupil, once rimmed with gold,   was dull and       lifeless. no amount of sparkle      could emulate their old shine. I like to think that     that she w

Have  you discovered     what it means to be happy? I have been searching     and       searching for what feels like   lifetimes. In the past, I thought I may have found it in the lines    of a song in the light    of a stage in a smile   of pride. but a song ends. and lights turn off. and a smile fades away. Have you discovered     how hard it is to smile? I have heard it takes more  muscles to frown but when you are pulled deep into a darkness   of your own making    and there is so little light      in your world that seems incorrect. When you have forgotten     your own face because the mask you were wearing has been etched into your skin          it is difficult to recall          the muscles          I used to use                to smile. I have spent hours staring     and staring hoping to find a glimmer    of anything in the face peering back. I used to be so desperate to find it it filled each spare moment   with it