Write On

I have spent time in complete darkness before. I have never been      so afraid of the dark. I have never felt more  alone. I have heard    stories of dying. It is often romanticized   to us there’s a   bright light and you are   filled with warmth. I have spent   too much time in total   darkness to believe   that’s true. I have never seen    less light. I have never been   so cold. It is often hoped that in death we will see   those we    loved again. there is a reunion of the souls that have been     lost to you for too long. I have spent  enough time in my own     darkness to know that’s true. even in the dark I was burning   from the inside out but still so cold. they told me if I go with them it won’t hurt   anymore. I so badly   wanted to stop   hurting. I so badly   wanted to go. I try not to tell my story of d

As a child I would rip     the petals from a flower  I tore from the ground    asking as each color fell     does he love me?     Does he love me not? holding my breath    as if I didn’t know the answer. I would make    a wish everytime      I saw the first star   light the sky        wish I may        wish I might closing my eyes and crossing my fingers    as if somebody     was really listening   this time. I would sidestep   each crack in the sidewalk on the days I liked my Mom and find extra   on the days      I didn’t as much. as if my little feet  could have taken down such a powerful woman I would lift up   my legs when we drove over bridges  and hold my breath when we drove under them      as if my small acts of bravery would keep us safe things happened anyway. on my 14th birthday    I wished I could be  a  movie star before my 15th my entire world