No Longer

I have spent time

in complete

darkness

before.

I have never been

     so afraid

of the dark.

I have never felt

more

 alone.

I have heard

   stories

of dying.

It is often romanticized

  to us

there’s a

  bright light

and you are

  filled

with warmth.

I have spent

  too much time

in total

  darkness

to believe

  that’s true.

I have never seen

   less light.

I have never been

  so cold.

It is often hoped

that in death

we will see

  those we    loved

again.

there is a reunion

of the souls

that have been

    lost

to you

for too long.

I have spent

 enough time

in my own

    darkness

to know

that’s true.

even in

the dark

I was burning

  from the inside

out

but still so cold.

they told me

if I go with them

it won’t hurt

  anymore.

I so badly

  wanted

to stop

  hurting.

I so badly

  wanted

to go.

I try

not to tell

my story

of dying.

I try

  not to admit

that I was afraid

   of living.

they told me

if I go with them

  it won’t hurt  

anymore.

you have heard

   my story

of dying.

you have learned

  the story

of my darkness

I hope you

are no

longer

afraid

of living.

They have told me

If I went with them

I wouldn’t hurt

anymore.

I have spent

enough time

in the light  

to know

if I went with them

I would leave behind

  more hurt

than anything I have felt

before.

you have heard

  my story

of dying

I hope you are no longer

afraid

 of living.

I’m not.

you have heard

 my story

of dying.

I hope I never

   get to hear

          yours.