superstitious

As a child

I would rip

    the petals

from a flower

 I tore

from the ground

   asking

as each color fell

    does he love me?

    Does he love me not?

holding my breath

   as if I didn’t know

the answer.

I would make

   a wish

everytime

     I saw the first star

  light the sky

       wish I may

       wish I might

closing my eyes

and crossing my fingers

   as if somebody

    was really listening

  this time.

I would sidestep

  each crack in the sidewalk

on the days

I liked my Mom

and find extra

  on the days

     I didn’t as much.

as if my little feet

 could have taken down

such a powerful woman

I would lift up

  my legs

when we drove over bridges

 and hold my breath

when we drove under them

     as if my small acts of bravery

would keep us safe

things

happened

anyway.

on my 14th birthday

   I wished

I could be  a

 movie star

before my 15th

my entire world

      ripped

upways

  down

that birthday

I didn’t have a cake.

there was a candle

but no wish.

at some point

  I ran out

    of things

to wish on.