superstitious

As a child
I would rip
    the petals
from a flower
 I tore
from the ground
   asking
as each color fell
    does he love me?
    Does he love me not?
holding my breath
   as if I didn’t know
the answer.

I would make
   a wish
everytime
     I saw the first star
  light the sky
       wish I may
       wish I might
closing my eyes
and crossing my fingers
   as if somebody
    was really listening
  this time.

I would sidestep
  each crack in the sidewalk
on the days
I liked my Mom
and find extra
  on the days
     I didn’t as much.
as if my little feet
 could have taken down
such a powerful woman


I would lift up
  my legs
when we drove over bridges
 and hold my breath
when we drove under them
     as if my small acts of bravery
would keep us safe

things
happened
anyway.

on my 14th birthday
   I wished
I could be  a
 movie star

before my 15th
my entire world
      ripped
upways
  down

that birthday
I didn’t have a cake.
there was a candle
but no wish.

at some point
  I ran out
    of things
to wish on.

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